NEVER WAVE MY FLAG
God NEVER ceases to amaze me. When people say God is Good, they are NOT lying. Lord knows he showed me that on Saturday!! I kept playing the Something Big CD by Mary Mary. God must have whispered to my soul that I NEEDED to listen to the CD on repeat. The messages he was trying to send me were in that CD. Thursday I KNEW Something Big was coming...it took a day or two, but it came.
IT IS WELL
It is well with me
It is well with me
It is well with me
It is well, it is well with my soul
Love interrupted by tradegy
What will my life be like now
I do know that I can handle it
If it's what you have allowed
It is well with me
It is well with me
It is well with me
It is well, it is well with my soul
My heart's been broken into pieces
And I've had more than my share of pain
Still I believe that all things will work out for my good
So while in my storm I'll boldly proclaim
It is well with me
It is well with me
It is well with me
It is well, it is well with my soul
That is the whole song. Slow and simple. Not long at all. But something about that moment and that song made my soul cry...literally cry. I played it 3 times after that and cried and sang out loud. I sang at the top of my lungs as loud as I could. That last 2 lines in the second verse is what I screamed out the loudest....."Still I believe that all things will work out for my good, So while IN MY STORM I'LL BOLDLY PROCLAIM...IT IS WELL WITH ME.........etc.
I sang it and I proclaimed it and then I dried my eyes and felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. I feel so at peace and so calm and felt like NO MATTER WHAT storm I have to go through, God will make it well for me. I just let it all go and said "Lord, I hand it ALL OVER to you, you lead the way and I will follow."
I got to my sisters house to pick up the top model and I stayed for a while. I talked to my sister, saw the gorgeous photos she took of the diva & our niece & just hung out for a while. I was in no rush, just wanted to be in the presence of family. In walks my brother in law. He is wise beyond his years. He is the man I know I can go to with ANYTHING in my life and he will give me GREAT advice, he is also the man that has been telling me for years to write a book....
We talked for a while and had a great conversation. After the soul cleansing in the car and the conversation with him, I KNEW that we would be alright. We meaning me & my babies. We may not have a car, but we are all alive, all healthy, and most of all we have each other and an OUTSTANDING family that LOVES and supports us.
Saturday morning I woke up and started to feel a slight bit of stress. I know that Aaron was too. But I did all I could in my power to LET it go. As Aaron and I debated about something that should NOT have been even debated about, I felt anger & stress get the best of me. I walked away for a moment and prayed. I handed it over to God and let it go. I felt 100% better. But my poor other half was just having a stressful morning. I talked to him and reassured him all was going to be well. It was well with me and I wanted him to have the same feeling. No matter what I said or how I said it, I could still see the stress on his face. So I decided to take matters into my own hands, packed us up and off we went to release some stress. As we are going to our location my phone rings and it is the Dollar Tree, a place I had dropped an application off to on Thursday when I was on my mission.
The manager was on the other end of the line offering me a position. NO interview, nothing. We spoke for a while and set up a date for me to come in and fill out paperwork. She instructed me on what I needed to bring with me and that I would be there for several hours training and then back on the schedule for Thursday. That once all my paperwork and information went into the system, I would have a schedule for next week also. I wanted to scream in her. I swear if she had been in front of me, I would have hugged and kissed her. THANK YOU GOD!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! I was floating on air it felt like. As I looked at my babies and told them what happened, tears filled my eyes and I was beyond relieved. Baby girl was thrilled, Aaron still look stressed. BUT, I just simply kissed him and said, "I told you everything was going to be ok!"
Something Big was coming and I was right. I felt it Thursday. It came. It may not seem that big to anyone else, because its only the Dollar Tree, but to me that was GIANT! I have been out of work for almost a year. It has been beyond a struggle sometimes, but we made it. God delivered RIGHT ON TIME!!! I told the devil he was not going to win....and he didn't!!!
A friend commented on my last blog that she loved it because she felt like I was giving my testimony and that I was setting my soul free. What I got out of my last blog and her comment were that I finally gave my heart to God freely. I didn't fight him or the test or anything. I just gave in, I listened for once. I really listened to HIM and followed his signs and words. One of my best friends texted me after I texted her with the good news and said "He answered your prayers quick!" I said, "yes, he did! I don't know what I did differently, but it worked." Her response was "U trusted Him." After thinking for a moment and recalling the comment my friend had made about the last blog, I realized that I did trust Him and I still do. That was my response back to her. I told her " I did & I do & I just really opened my heart up this time!"
I let my fears vanish, I let my stress go. God KNOWS what he is doing. He will send test after test. There will be mountains to climb and valleys to get through. The devil will keep trying me and our family because in the past, I have given in and let him win. But God is on my side now. HE is the MVP on my team, the captain, He is calling all the shots. He leads and I follow.
This morning Aaron and I began to feel a little stress. Aaron more so than me. He dealt with it his way, I got in the shower and I prayed. I prayed HARD. Got out of the shower and went about my day. I put Mary Mary on when I got out of the shower and just listened and worked. As I worked another song stood out to me...."Never Wave My Flag" As I listened I said, "keep trying devil, but I Will NEVER Wave My Flag. Not today, not tomorrow, and not ever again. Keep trying, but you won't win. God is in control." There has been a couple of times today that the devil has tried to get to me, I got frustrated with some things and wanted to give in, BUT...I yelled at him and said "I'LL NEVER WAVE MY FLAG, NEVER!!" I have been singing that song in my head all day. And will continue to sing it. Each time he tries, I yell and then God sends me another sign that he is leading. THANK YOU LORD!!! I will keep following, and I WILL NEVER WAVE MY FLAG!!!
NEVER WAVE MY FLAG
Mary Mary
Seems like I should run away 'cause life is hitting me in the face, hey, hey
But I'm here and I'll never surrender to fear
Retreat and be defeated no way, 'cause I can't, I can't
'Cause I can see it, I'm getting closer, the hardest part of it is almost over
And now I'm stronger, I'm a fighter and only victory can satisfy this hunger
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
Oh, Oh, Oh I'll keep holding on
Oh, oh, oh I'll keep holding on
Seems like I should run away 'cause life is hitting me in the face hey, hey
But I'm so focused, but I'm so driven
I gotta make the best out of this life I'm living
Can't be a winner if I surrender
I can't surrender, I won't surrender
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
Oh, Oh, Oh I'll keep holding on
Oh, oh, oh I'll keep holding on
Seems like this could be the day when I'll no longer be afraid
I can fight as long as you're with me
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
I'll never wave my flag, never wave my
Oh, Oh, Oh I'll keep holding on
Oh, oh, oh I'll keep holding on
Seems like I should run away 'cause life is hitting me in the face
NOT TODAY, NOT TODAY
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